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It’s day 5 in my captivity by the flu bug. I’ve spent 5 days indoors. 3 trips to Freddie’s to purchase food and cough drops. Lots an lots of TV time. Bad TV time (the best kind!!). I had a partial day of work from home today. Full day at work tomorrow.

Usually I half kill myself trying to get back to work. I want to make it clear that I didn’t do that this time because I realize that I’m not the spring chicken I was and I’ve seen posts from several people who went into pneumonia after a run in with this bug. I think that is not the direction I’m headed. I’ve rested and slept and stayed home until I feel that I really am over the hump.

I’ve treated myself with respect. Put myself first. Weird.

I didn’t get all the things done I hoped I would. But I’m rested and less stressed. My brain feels capable of holding a thought for longer than .05 seconds. So maybe at the end of the day I can credit my body with doing what it needed to secure a little downtime. Backhanded move I hadn’t anticipated, but good all the same.

I can see the days getting longer. Excited for the spring. There were buds on the trees outside the kitchen window. I’m so ready! It will be such a nice change from Kleenex brand tissues, “Big Bags” (yes, there really is such a thing Virginia) of Ricola cough drops and my bath robe. Which I washed today because it was feeling truly disgusting.

I’ll have to tell you the story of my daughter and I sitting on the couch like a couple of stoners high on Theraflu another time.

There how does that sound? Dramatic? Exciting? Enticing. Well it’s a manufactured adventure surrounding the decidedly not dramatic or enticing life I lead right now. I took a vacation when no one was around. A staycation. Which turned out to be an opportunity to stage a Ricola natural lozenge tasting (do I detect a hint of blackberry in the natural herb flavor?) and get in plenty of bathrobe time, on the couch. Ouch.

I had such high hopes for these four days. But it’s not only the hopes that were low. Also the energy and enthusiasm.

I know this is what I tell my kids when stuff like this happens. Well it happened for a reason, you must need the rest, take it easy…

Now I see why that went over so well. When my whole life was kids, kids, kids and chores and cooking, I never got disappointed in how much time I had to devote to those things because “other” things were never an option. Now that fun sometimes is a regular occurrence I feel like I’ve lost something important and precious.

Living time.

Not sure what I want to do about that.