I didn’t outright bawl when I went into the house, but I did avoid the upstairs for a good long while. The vet’s office called and kind of scolded me for dumping Andi bird on them because she would be hard to place, but I had few choices and all of them were worse than this one.

I sat on the couch and quietly knit most of the night with the dog as my ottoman. It was good. I’m going to try and do more of the same tonight. It’s therapeutic, just as the Harlot has spoken about. Meditative.

I did have to maneuver around the giant hole I felt had opened up in the earth – it feels very real, although, of course, it isn’t.

I’ll wait for things to feel better.