Life over here does not suck. Let me set that out there. I live in a warm home, we have plenty to eat. My children are healthy. My parents are still alive. Why does life seem so hard right now?

I feel barely human.

Once I head out to the different blogs I read, I see that I’m not alone. I have plenty of company. It’s a grey, dark, miserable time and I’m so thankful to have a warm place to hang and not be out on the street.

Hormones are doing a number on me, and I’m worried about the colonoscopy, not because I’ll be in pain, because I’ll be out. Because I don’t want to have to stop taking my vitamins that make me feel better and because there are dietary restrictions for a week. And the whole prep of taking a nuclear laxative is just unappealing to me.

I’m hoping I can wax poetic about the “clean ans a whistle” feeling I ‘ll have once I’ve shat my brains out.