I did, seriously, almost choke to death at work today. On spit no less. I’ve had a little head cold, and the drainage from my head combined with a piece of caramel made me cough. And then whatever was in there just blocked my throat. I’ve had a good coughing fit before. This time when someone asked me if I was OK, I had to shake my head no. I could feel my throat closing down and I suddenly realized what a person suffering with asthma feels like. It’s terrifying.

Anyways. After my friends all rushed over looking to Heimlich me, I started sputtering water from all orifices. And I do mean all orifices (thanks to those two giant babies I delivered vaginally and my, ahem, advanced age). The wheezing was getting louder, my throat was feeling more constricted and my chest and face started to tingle. I started thinking that this was not the way I wanted to die. In my office so far away from my girls. About that time the people around me are looking to call 911.

Finally I burped three or four times and coughed up whatever was stuck in there. My throat slowly unwrapped itself from my hyoid bone and the air started to flow. I was beet red, still spluttering water from my nose ears and eyes and thoroughly glad I didn’t die.

The first thing I thought of was the looks on the faces of my kids if someone had to call them today and tell them I’d died at work, choking on phlegm and saliva. The next thing I thought of was the look my sweetheart gave me when we made love last Thursday. He just kept smiling and looking into my eyes. It’s such an incredible cliche, but life really is too short. I want to have as many lovely looks from my sweetheart and crazy times with my girls as I can.

So, hopefully I’ll do something brilliant with these moments I have left.